So far I have successfully navigated around the self perceived leach infested quick sand pit commonly referred to as twitter. With my blog, facebook, and emails I'm pretty sure my extended circle feels more than updated on what I'm doing and I'm pretty sure no one is captivated by my ordinary life. If I were to join twitter, today's updates would probably include, "read up on company tax structure." "experiencing severe cramps" and "Currently questioning if my car has passed the point of economical and reached the level of slightly hoop-dy" obviously less than captivating.
I remember when I was exiting high school and entering college Madonna found Kabballa and subsequently Britney, Ashton, Demi, and a slew of celebrities followed. The rational part of my brain completely questioned a Catholic, 50 year old woman, with arms like a 19 year old boy, and who refers to herself as 'Esther' hawking a religion described as Jewish Mysticism. Yet the easily impressioned by celebrity piece of my brain overtook the rational part and I did major Kaballa research. Even after researching and reading all the self authored proganda from kabalaists my stuck in extended adolescence brain could not buy into the religion. Yet I did sport the trendy red string bracelet for a solid 8 months.
Flash forward a few (used generously) years and I find myself in the same situation. I desperately want to stay updated on the likes of Ashton Kutcher and Kim Kardashian with twitter pics and uploads. I want to advise Ryan Seacrest on what town he should hold a bachelor party and pretend that it was my suggestion that resulted in the party being held in Vegas. However, my rational brain will not let me and I can not over come it.
My other issue with twitter is I have a fear of joining and experiencing the twitter equivalent of high school rejection by having zero followers. I would put my tweets out into the world and unlike Megan Fox I would receive no comments. I'd suffer silent embarrassment picturing Larry King with close to a million followers and no idea how to operate his iPhone and me all by my lonesome.
Boo... so anyways in an ode to twitter here are five fabulously bazaar tweets by my fave fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld courtesy of the Huffington Post.
1. Chanel is an institution, and you have to treat an institution like a whore - and then you get something out of her. 11:12 PM Nov 16th, 2008
Did he just call the house of Chanel a whore?!?! Wow that's fashion blasphemy
2. On this day each year, I soak the previous year's calendar in my mother's favorite perfume and then set it ablaze. Here's to a fresh start 12:13 PM Jan 1st from web
3. Believe it or not, I love rap. 7:46 AM Jan 19th from web
4. Florals are for middle-aged women with weight problems. 9:15 PM Jan 26th from web
5. My dream? Transparent fur. The hair on plastic and not on leather. We've tried, but nobody has found it yet. 7:34 PM Feb 18th from web
6. I think I'm going to have a dinner party where no one speaks. I'll give all my guests pens and pads instead of the usual dinner conversation 6:47 AM Apr 24th from web