Umm... Are you serious?!?!

So the woman who owns the building where I rent is a... very hands on manager. aka incredibly nosy and slightly controlling of her residents. Anyways, this weekend I received two voicemails from her stating she had something "very serious" to talk to me about, and she is "gravely concerned." Her second voicemail stated she needed to speak with me and she was upset she had not heard a response back. (BTW this woman still operates with a pager and calls from blocked numbers. The only way to get a hold of her is to page her and wait for her blocked number return phone call)

I was at Boyfriends all weekend and did not have her pager number. Her voicemails had this accusatory tone and left me wondering what I could have done wrong. I went through every scenario in my head from leaving the oven on and causing a fire to playing my Britney Spears CD's too loud while getting ready for work in the morning. I was really anxious over the situation and did not want any landlord/tenant issues.

I returned to my apartment and paged her. She calls me back and says "I need to speak to you about a very serious incident that occured." My first thought was someone was attacked in the building and this is a safety related call to notify residents. "Ivy were you home friday night?" - Ok safety theory out the window, mom-style interrogation begins. I respond with, "Ummm no Janet(nosy owner lady) I was away most of the weekend." Her reply- "Well, I received a very serious report that there were two cars parked outside your window at 1 a.m. and they were playing loud music and smoking weed. The police were called twice until the people left. Your boyfriend was identified as being there."

I was in disbelief. At this point she wasn't really asking me if it could have been Boyfriend. She was pretty much telling me that's what he was doing. I was almost laughing as I told her I was with Boyfriend Friday night. That could not have been him because he was asleep! I then went on to explain that he's a federal agent and that could not have been more out of character for him. She asked me if I was sure and I had to repeat that I was 100% sure that was not him. I said my boyfriend is 5'7" wears glasses and is African American.

The closest thing to drugs Boyfriend has experienced is Zipp Fizz before workouts. Furthermore, I wish could remember a time he was up at 1 am playing loud music!

She then asked if he was living with me... Umm she's leasing me a STUDIO apartment. "No we are not living together Janet." "Does he drive a dark blue sedan with a University of Virginia sticker?" "Umm... yes he does." -Is this like building servailance? What is going on?

"Janet his car was not at the building Friday night and the sticker is in the back of his car so there is no way someone could have seen the sticker on his car parked in the lot." (The spaces are back in only). "Well, I'm not saying he was there. I feel much better knowing he wasn't. My source told me he's been parking in the spaces reserved for leases and could you ask him to park on the street?" Me-"Sure that's not a problem" Just for the record the parking space she's referring to has never been parked in and is the spot farthest from the building. At my building tenants prefer street parking because it's closer to the building. It's actually more convenient for him to park at the farthest spot than the street, but whateves.

She called me back later and said she felt much better knowing that I wasn't bringing "that" to the building and she would call her source back and let her source know it was not my boyfriend. She said it was late and dark and they probably a mistake because it was soo dark out. I asked about his car being identified and told her I thought that was very odd considering there aren't too many UVA graduates in the Seattle Area. She said her source gave her the car description regarding parking. Umm... ok. I told her I had every intention to be a good neighbor and if someone had a concern I was more than open to listening to it. She said she has not received any complaints yaddy, yaddy, yaddy but Friday night her source was concerned for his safety and could smell marijuana through his windows. Umm... that must have been some powerful weed to waft through the car windows into the triple pain bedroom windows, but whatevs. That piece of info did tell me it was the neighbor next door who is super odd.

Still- Could you get any more stereotypical. Also, Boyfriend lives his life with such integrity that it was insulting and borderline infuriating that someone would make an accusation like that. Haven't we moved past this form of racism and profiling.